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If they combine that intimacy with sexual language and touching, it can seem as if you’ve met the person you’re going to marry.
Now, our “relationship” was kept mostly a secret except from a sort of inner circle of clergy and lay leadership.Think about titles: “Reverend” (from “revere”), “Monsignor” (“my lord”), or, in the Episcopal Church, “Father” or “Mother” (do I need to explain that one? For a while I was dating someone whom convention would have me refer to as “Mother Strickland”.Power differentials are never healthy in relationships—but we’ll get to that. You’re going to be under huge amounts of pressure to keep the relationship secret.Unlike, perhaps, some of the readers of this article, I actively support full LGBTQ equality, and I do not believe that the only province of sexuality should be the marital relationship. But you, and I, and everyone, universally agree that some classes of sexual behavior are simply acceptable, like child molestation, or sexual assault.And pastors dating their parishioners—although seemingly more benign at first—actually fits into that category. When you belong to a church, the ministers consult each other about what’s going on in your life—and this can create conflicts of interest if you’re dating one of them In my case, when I grew increasingly frazzled by my relationship with my pastor, I couldn’t go to one of the other ministers and talk about it. This would be like dating your manager, and then going to the CEO of the company for relationship advice.
(By the way, I keep on putting “relationship” in quotes because I don’t consider professional exploitation a relationship like we usually think of them. Certain professionals are given trust with no questions asked.